Why You Keep Attracting Narcissists and How Your Frequency Plays a Bigger Role Than You Think

Across both personal and professional environments, I noticed a troubling pattern, one I now see consistently in clients, leaders, and high-capacity individuals:

• You give more than you receive.

• You over-function while others coast.

• You attract controlling personalities, in relationships and in management structures.

  
  

For years, I assumed this was simply the cost of being dependable, resilient, or “the strong one.”

But I eventually realized: this pattern isn’t random. It’s energetic.

Toxic or narcissistic personalities don’t choose people at random they gravitate toward predictable emotional frequencies.

On Dr. David Hawkins’ Scale of Consciousness, there are three common energetic signatures that high performers unknowingly broadcast and difficult personalities lock onto them with precision.

1. Guilt Frequency (30–40 Hz)

Core belief: “I must prove my value.”

Professionally, this sounds like:

“I’ll take on more. I’ll fix it. I’ll stay late. I’ll be the reliable one.”

Strong empathy combined with over-responsibility often leads to role bleed, where you do the work of three people while receiving the recognition of one.

This frequency attracts leaders or peers who offload responsibility, knowing you won’t push back.

2. Fear Frequency (~100 Hz)

Core belief: “If I speak up, I’ll create conflict or lose safety.”

This often shows up as:

• Holding back ideas in meetings

• Avoiding necessary conversations

• Walking on eggshells around certain personalities

  
  

In corporate settings, fear isn’t always panic, it’s silence.

And silence is where manipulation thrives.

3. Pride Frequency (~175 Hz)

Core belief: “I can handle it. I don’t need help.”

This one is common among leaders and high performers. It feels strong but it locks you into emotional endurance instead of strategic movement.

You stay in misaligned roles, relationships, or reporting structures far longer than necessary because you believe:

“If I just push harder, I can change this.”

Meanwhile, the other person has no incentive to change because the system works for them.

The Solution? Lead From Courage, Not Compensation.

Courage sits at 200 Hz, the first frequency where leadership becomes self-aligned rather than reactive.

Courage sounds like:

“I will not compromise my wellbeing to maintain a broken dynamic.”

From this state:

• Boundaries become calm and factual not emotional.

• Accountability replaces over-functioning.

• Manipulative personalities lose influence because you are no longer seeking their validation.

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Whether in relationships, leadership, or organizational culture, frequency shapes engagement.

If you consistently attract difficult personalities, it’s not about becoming harsher it’s about becoming clearer.

The Future of Leadership Is Energetic Intelligence

We’ve mastered intellectual intelligence.

We’ve institutionalized emotional intelligence.

But what most organizations and individuals are still missing is energetic intelligence:

The ability to recognize not just what is happening in a dynamic — but at what frequency it is operating.

Because you cannot solve a power struggle with more force.

You cannot outwork manipulation with performance.

You cannot negotiate with dysfunction and expect transformation.

You don’t change the pattern by fighting it, You change it by no longer vibrating at its level.

That is where true influence and true freedom begins.

“You don’t end toxic dynamics by managing them, you end them by rising beyond their frequency.”